Identity

I should probably start by informing you, my (many/few) readers that this is actually my third attempt at making a blog. I have written two other openings to it at different times in my life. The first I was an idealistic high schooler; the second I was a calmer college student; and these days I am simply a post-grad trying to figure out my place in the world.

So before I tell you what I think now let me show you what I thought then. Process is, after all, a major part of the creative process.

Quick note, I am posting these older versions somewhat unedited as to get the true feel of previous pieces, warts and all.

Last Modified November 18, 2003

Daedalus is what I choose to call myself today. I choose that name because I can think of no better man in any of literature who knew better how to stay the course. He had to fly to escape and knew that the wings he had made would not be able to stay together if he flew too high and the water would way them down if he flew too low. He and his son had to stay the course on a thin line between high and low. In the Greek Myths this was an example of Arete, or balance, something I seek now.

I have recently spoken to a few people about my beliefs on various topics such as Religion and Politics, and I decided I should write my ideas down, because, and don’t think me vain about it, I had some pretty good ideas. I know that I am far from unbiased as I have been raised a Roman Catholic and have grown up in an upper middle class house, but I have sought a balance without bias or any pre-conceived notions. I strive for this because I believe that as a species man has to become better than what it is, otherwise we are doomed. We live in a Democracy however this Democracy cannot function effectively unless we have a public who is enlightened enough to see past our own selves.

It is my hope that some will read my words, and pass them on. That by somehow opening peoples minds to new ideas that I can spread those same ideas then. Too often have I spoken about my beliefs and had someone else say, “That’s a nice idea, but it will never work,” and my thought is if it is a good idea why shouldn’t it work. The answer to that is that the world we live in does not like change, and will blindly follow the masses to whatever end they may be stumbling towards. I don’t like the end I see approaching. Left as we are in another thirty or forty years we will destroy ourselves. There are too little resources and our weapons have become far too powerful. Sooner or later there will be a war over the last remaining bits of resources and that will be the last one. We already see wars motivated by resources. How long till it becomes global? How long before we turn to our most powerful weapon? I know that nobody wants that, but at the same time no one is willing to think about it. However, we need to think about it. We need to take control, and the only way to do that is to have an enlightened public, to have a people that can truly work for a better way. We as a species are capable of so much more than we are, and it is my hope that we can figure this out before it’s too late.

Last Modified April 13, 2005

I have the odd responsibility to welcome you to my little corner of the web and introduce you to my modest addition to the massive world of writing that exists in this grand world. I can’t say to you that my writing is greater than anyone else’s because I can never know what the reader will bring to the table. I can do my best to present what I think in the form of fiction, poetry, non-fiction, or creative non-fiction but in the end you will take my words and make your own story.
So in the end if you didn’t like the story the fault may be yours. I jest of course, but not entirely.

The second responsibility I have is to provide some kind of introduction to my works, which is tricky. Once again I deal with the problem of your thoughts changing the idea and if I say anything to preface I can ruin the story you have in your mind about my work and who am I to say my interpretation is any more valid than yours. So as the writer I get to sit back and watch you speculate as to what I was really getting at anyway. That’s the odd thing about writing. You go into a piece thinking one thing and the actual process of writing changes the meaning it has to the point when I am not really sure what I am getting at and I become just another speculator.

What I can say is that I write about a lot of things. I tend to enjoy the escapism of fantasy genre writing as well as writing flash fiction of a moment in real life, often though I have found that there is a bit of fantasy in my realism and some realism in my fantasy. So don’t confine me to a category, just read. Don’t judge until you finish. If perchance you stumble upon a typo or grammatical error I do apologize but in the end I am just as lazy as you and I make mistakes. If I notice, I’ll fix it.

So in conclusion of my long winded explication of nothing I give you my words, just as they are, words. I entreat you to bring them to life. I entreat you to interact with the characters and see what they see. I entreat you to like or dislike the characters. I entreat you to live their lives and try for a moment to see something new that you may have never seen before even if it is something ever so minor. Just imagine with me and if I so happen to drop a political or moral idea in there that you may not agree with or like then forgive me because I am only human and have my vices, opinions, and virtues.

With that I welcome you to my words.

Today

So you’ve seen where I was five and three years ago, and now I have to try and tell you where I am today, who I am today.

When I was in high school I felt my words were full of resolute truths, in college I accepted that readers brought their meaning, but what do I think now?

I think words are tools. Words enter through your eyes circulate in your brain and are spoken out eventually, though often not in the same order. Words are fluid, often changing meaning as time goes by, just as I have changed and how my use of the words has changed.

Our world is fluid, ever-changing, and we try to find patterns to it. I saw that this is a rock, and then I turn around throw up the horns and saw “you rock.” Am I calling my friend a rock? Perhaps, my friends often are rocks, dumb as a rock, steady as a rock, sleeping like a rock.

So if all things change, if the world is fluid then who am I? Can I say I am something without calling myself a liar five minutes from now? Am I very different from the person who wrote in 2003 and am I somewhat different from the person who wrote in 2005? Now in 2008 I look back at those words and see elements of myself. At the young idealist, I see fire and passion which I have always respected, and in the slightly older college kid, I see the openness to others which I have incorporated into myself.

I have grown and I have changed. If changing is growing than is the world growing? Are we turning into something better or are we simply changing without purpose.

I can say one thing about myself. I am an optimist. I believe we aren’t hurtling through space ever changing with no purpose. I believe we continue to grow and change so that we can grow and change. We experience the new everyday, and we continue to change so that we can continue to change. The man I will be five years from now will be different from the man I am today, but I will be the stepping stone for that man. I will be an ever-growing, ever-changing being. Everyday will be new and an adventure, every problem simply a chance to improve.

Words have a type of immortality and stasis that I never will. A word written in the sand will change when the tide rolls in, but the word will remain in the mind. A word written on paper will survive as long as the paper. A word written in a book will survive as long as people wish to reprint it. This can be a very long time as some words have made it through many generations and many languages. But since we are always changing, our view of words is always changing.

Take interpretations of any classic work and see how it has changed over the years.

Since I am always changing, and words remain the same, I change how I arrange them; I change how I think of them. One day I will look back and see the words I wrote in the past and see their arrangement as a footprint of the ever-growing foot of my language. What is in the past is not false and who I am now is not true.

This is who I am, at least today, and these are my words.